there are so many emotions and ideas running through my head and yet when i get to typing i find myself sharing a fun activity instead of a little piece of my heart. but the purpose of this blog is to expose myself, find myself and better myself for the sake of the two little human beings i have the honor of raising. so i’ll be getting back to opening myself up again.
to start of, straight to the point, i’ve been taking motherhood for granted. i’ve been taking my children for granted. i’ve been taking the time i have been gifted with them, for granted. i’m with them all day, everyday, and somewhere along the way i’ve let distractions get in the way of the quality of my relationships with my sons. and i’ve let exhaustion and pain serve as a free pass to take it easy for yet another day.
i’m not bored with my children. i’m not wishing i were doing something else. but i’m not absorbing every moment i can. life is not ideal with two loud toddlers running about, but i swear it’s beautiful. things can get very crazy, very fast, yet it’s what makes my world go ’round. tantrums and messes teach me just as much as they test me. and my goodness, why did i try so hard to create this family if i’m not investing myself like i know i can. like i did before.
i know that every moment is not going to be all magical and peaceful, but i need to live it. i need to be their testament to their life, until someone else comes along to promise to do that until death do they part. and being a witness to their life isn’t just my job, or right. it’s my privilege. and it’s about time i start remembering that again.